This article about emotions first appeared in the 10th issue of the #Entrepreneurspirit magazine, published by Christine Michaelis. She is the founder of The Creative Sturt-Up Academy, an ecosystem meant to support individuals in the first 3 years and beyond of their start-up journey. With online resources, live support and a community, the Academy supports founders with what they need to get started and market their start-ups efficiently. The Academy has three pillars: starting out, marketing and health & well-being. You can find more info about the Academy HERE and you can access the presentation page of the magazine HERE.
Why do we have emotions?
Some of us might see emotions as tedious, time and energy-consuming and a source of conflict. Yet others, might see them as what makes us humans.
After getting certified in the Emotional Assertiveness Model (EA), created by British psychologist John Parr, I started to see them as messengers and guides for well-being. Because emotions provide us with information.
Emotions are a tool to stay happy
EA proposes that emotions are our body’s tools for staying happy through effective communication. If something changes in our environment, and I feel angry, sad or scared… these emotions are telling me “Something is wrong, and this is what you need to do to put it back together, to return to being happy”.
(If you want more information on this, I invite you to read my other post, There are NO negative emotions).
The trouble is that we might have forgotten to be in touch with our authentic emotions as in our early childhood, as an adaptative/defence mechanism, we started to develop cover-up emotions, which we perceived as “safer” than the real, authentic emotions. But that’s a whole big subject in itself.
In EA, we talk about four basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear and anger. All others are combinations of these four emotions, thoughts, beliefs, etc.
What makes this model so easy to apply, is that it proposes a clear link between each emotion, its purpose and the need we have to cover to return to psychological well-being.
The four basic emotions, their purpose and the needs attached
Happiness is telling us to do more of what’s good for us and the need attached is to enjoy it and to share it with others.
Anger alerts us to an undesired change in the environment and provides motivation and energy to seek solutions and solve problems from an OK/OK position.
Sadness alerts us to the loss of attachment. The need for us is to learn to let go and move on (sometimes very difficult). The need is for us to accept the sadness/grief and to be held and cared for.
Finally, fear alerts us to threats and danger and directs us to manage risks. What we need then is to accept our fear, to be protected and to form an alliance.
To conclude, I’ll extend an invitation: listen to your emotions, follow their message and cover the needs attached. You might be surprised by the positive changes you’ll see in your life and your relationships!
Stay happy,
Magda.
PS: A big reason I write is to meet people so feel free to say Hi! on Linkedin here or follow my Instagram here, as I’d love to learn more about you.
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